my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
