Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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