guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
