She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
