Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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