No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
smell my finger.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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