My first STD was from a foam party
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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