who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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