It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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