i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We had to coat check the pizza.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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