I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize