Nicole vs. Life
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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