Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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