Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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