i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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