We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
