but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
