I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
