They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
