Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize