just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
