Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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