so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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