I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
