is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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