I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
