I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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