I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
