I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
