he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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