The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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