no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
