Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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