How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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