That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
