Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
