just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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