what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
