I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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