new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
