then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
