Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
