No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize