they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
