thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
