dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
