all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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