smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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