I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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