We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize