Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
