sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
