i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
