I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize