apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
