I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Operation Purity has been aborted
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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