note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
