How's work?
Spinning.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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