No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
