And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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