you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
