Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
