so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize