3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize