i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
