so that wasnt chicken after all
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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