nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
