i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
