I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
