Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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