I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So many bounce houses so little time
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
